How to Improve Britain #2: Hugh Grant, Prime Minister

Over the years the public has called upon many celebrities to take the reigns of the country. From Stephen Fry (Sure, why not?) to Jeremy Clarkson (Please, no) there are plenty of common faces who would have a lot of backing should they ever decide to make a career change and go for the top job.

Possible Prime Ministers in debate.


These people are desired for the charisma, views and ideals they present when in the public eye. Fry has commented widely on religion and free speech while Clarkson apparently has some interest in transport.

However, I am willing to throw all of my support behind a different celebrity, one who does not court the media so frequently or lovingly. I want to see quintessential Englishman Hugh Grant as our Prime Minister.

Since July, when Grant published The Bugger, Bugged, the actor has been involved in one of the biggest media and political events in years. He managed to turn the tables on phone-hacking journalists by secretly recording Paul McMullan's comments on illegal activity which was acknowledged by politicians.

In the month's following, Grant became a figurehead in the fight against Murdoch's News Corporation and even appeared on Question Time, giving a level-headed and composed performance far above that of most politicians on the show.

It was this composure and dedication which first made him appear as a worthy candidate for leadership. Anyone who has seen Love Actually will know he can play the role. The film proves, if he was in power, Britain would have a far greater interest in politics and the love life of its leader.


"Anything to put off actually running the country."

If you were looking for more tenuous links between his characters and an ability to lead, they are abundant. From About a Boy's effective 30 minute time management system to Notting Hill's ability to admit to mistakes ("Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?").

Sure, being a unexpected dad may leave him with less time for the whole running the country thing. But as the only real requirement of the Prime Minister is one weekly lunch with the Queen, he could probably fit it in. Anyway, if you do choose to believe the papers which he hates so much (and I am not saying you should), the new addition to his life may be taking up less of his time than it is his money.

Past all this, the true reason I believe in Grant is down to what he has achieved. I do not know a single person who doesn't at least like him and I know a few who love him. However, this adoration is impressive as he has never seemed to want or need it.

Hugh Grant is a man who is liked, without wanting to be liked. And that is what a leader should be. Powerful, strong and committed in the face of anger.

The future face of Britain?

All too often leaders risk harming the country in order to appease mass voters and this fear of not keeping public opinion high holds us back. Having a Prime Minister who could maintain the populace's admiration without pandering to their occasionally misinformed wants would make Britain a far better place.

 

A leader should do what is best for those they lead, whether they are praised for it or not and Grant has shown he has the ability to do this.

Beyond his abilities to lead, having a famous face at the front of our nation would allow us to re-brand ourselves. Unfortunately, a lot of Grant's earlier characters encapsulate some of the stereotypes we might want to be moving away from but the confidence and thick skin he has become known for in his real persona are admiral qualities to build a country's image around.

Comments in the past of how acting wasn't a true goal and more a job he fell into hint at the desire for a change, so maybe this is not an unthinkable option. Overall, I just think we need a Prime Minister with the balls to ask "Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?"

But maybe I am wrong to back this particular celebrity. Let me know if there is anyone else I should be considering.

P.S. In case you were wondering, I also think Alec Baldwin should be President of the America.

How to Improve Britain #1: A Day of Darkness

Over the past months, my view of Britain has become somewhat more optimistic (as has my view of most things). I've seen some of the nicer places within the country and found some of the more impressive things it has to offer. However, there is still room for improvement.

I wanted to write about this room and thought I could start with something political like the country's view on immigration or something poignant like the flaws within the British press but then I realised there was something far more important which could make this a drastically better country. Here it is...

A Day of Darkness

The last few winters have supplied us with a fair amount of snow. Yet, despite the appearance of one of my Top 5 Happy Things and the ability to wear fingerless gloves, the British winter is still a miserable occurrence.

While I wrote this I sat in a second floor classroom (for the record, I should have been learning about how the inc- prefix works in shorthand) and looked out over a tree filled skyline. Unusually, the sun shone brightly and elegantly glowed upon the beautiful brown colours of the leaves. It was unreasonably depressing.

Even snow looks cooler in the Day of Darkness.

It was depressing because I knew by the time I got out of there, the only light available would be from dim, orange lampposts. On top of this, when I eventually made it back to my sleepy village, there wouldn't even be lampposts to light the cold streets. All this and I'm not even sure if it is technically winter yet.

It may be unreasonable to ask for evenings which are illuminated by drawn out sunsets until eleven pm all year round so, instead, picture something a little more dramatic in the depths of our winters.

Imagine the days closing in a bit more and giving us just one day of complete, all encompassing darkness. A day where everything was moonlit throughout and it felt not just okay, but obligatory, to achieve nothing other than a sense of enchantment. This day would give our winter something other than Christmas, New Year's Eve and snow to be carried by as temperatures drop.

Halloween could finally be as scary as it is in Buffy.

Envision being eight years old again and reaching the one day of the year when no sun light touches your life (without the help of the moon). Halloween wouldn't stand a chance of matching up to the magical feeling of that day and, obviously, the holiday would be moved to this Day of Darkness.

As you got older the day may mean a bit less and the magic may disperse but, in the right situation, with the right friends, great fun could still be had. Parties, picnics, a day of random games in the dark, it would be amazing to be able to waste a day away and not notice time passing. To just enjoy yourself and have normal life suspended by the lack of morning.

The day would have to be a public holiday for some reason or another. Maybe people couldn't work in the dark or maybe there would be some kind of religious reason. However it happened, the day would need to be celebrated with a total lack of work.

TV would be full of horror movie marathons stretching all through the day, with some more family friendly options thrown in for good measure.

Finally, every year, an over the top event, with disappointing celebrities and too many sponsors, would be put on. After a few years, even though it wouldn't have ever been any good, people will talk about how it has become so much as they have matured.

By the time you've grown up and had a family the Day of Darkness could have become nothing more than a forced, oversold, gimmick of a day when you have to put in a lot of effort to keep your kids happy. However, if you have managed to stay young at heart there would still be something special in the day. It could be a chance to remember how much you had enjoyed this day decades ago or a chance to forget about the responsibilities the world has pushed onto you and just have fun with the people you love.

The correct use of candles will make all bedrooms look like this.

Obviously there is no one who can make this day occur (as far as I am aware) but I still think it would help. To be honest, I just think the country needs a little more magic, something to look forward to in the cold of winter and a chance to feel young again once the years attempt to take away our youth and innocence.

So, what do you think of the Day of Darkness as a way to improve Britain?

P.S. The candle industry would boom. Who would want to use electricity on the Day of Darkness?

Review: Don't Dress for Dinner

This review was originally written for The Public Reviews.

Don’t Dress For Dinner – Palace Theatre, Southend

Writer: Marc Camoletti

Adapter: Robin Hawdon

Director: Bruce James

Reviewer: Jonathan Cooper

The Public Reviews Rating: 

Laughter flows consistently throughout Robin Hawdon’s adaptation of Don’t Dress for Dinner. A classic French story of the misadventures resulting from a married couple and their simultaneous affairs, the events of the play have been given a very English edge in the Palace Theatre Southend.

The most enjoyable aspects of the show are unquestionably the script and the charisma with which the cast delivers it. With an intentional detachment from reality, each of the five main actors excels at creating laughs through the use of the dialogue and their own comedic abilities.

If original writer, Marc Camoletti, could have a complaint with this adaptation, it would be due to the lack of consistency within the plays setting. The misunderstandings and drama that lead to the lies and comedy take place in the front room of a barn house two hours outside of Paris but little dedication is given to this. With the exception of a few well placed, and often hilarious, references, there is hardly anything within the play to pay homage to its origin.

The one room backdrop and regularly changing costumes tell more of a modern British countryside than anything French. However, this performance is not about attention to cultural detail and, to this end, the lighting and sound offer little towards the productions value.

What makes the show so enjoyable is its ability to create hilarity through rehearsed lines as well as through the improvisation of Ben Roddy and Damian Williams. There are some mistakes throughout but these allow for the greatest comedic moments to shine through while separating the proceedings even further from belief.

Damian plays the untrustworthy friend, secret lover and increasing drunk while bringing increasing joviality to his role. He breaks character only when the situation calls for his personal input unlike fellow cast member, Jacqueline Roberts, who occasionally finds it impossible to maintain composure when it would be preferable. He understands when his personality will benefit the show and offers the prefect level of over-acting for the situations.

There are no attempts or illusions of grandeur in this Don’t Dress for Dinner but, while there may be a few faults in detail, it does achieve something very important. It makes people laugh. Thanks to the charisma of the cast it is a very enjoyable play in which no two nights will be the same. In this world, there is a perfect place for simplistic, over the top and slightly slapstick humour and this is it.

Runs until 12th November.

Find the original review, and many others, here: thepublicreviews.com/dont-dress-for-dinner-palace-theatre-southend/