How to Improve Britain #2: Hugh Grant, Prime Minister

Over the years the public has called upon many celebrities to take the reigns of the country. From Stephen Fry (Sure, why not?) to Jeremy Clarkson (Please, no) there are plenty of common faces who would have a lot of backing should they ever decide to make a career change and go for the top job.

Possible Prime Ministers in debate.


These people are desired for the charisma, views and ideals they present when in the public eye. Fry has commented widely on religion and free speech while Clarkson apparently has some interest in transport.

However, I am willing to throw all of my support behind a different celebrity, one who does not court the media so frequently or lovingly. I want to see quintessential Englishman Hugh Grant as our Prime Minister.

Since July, when Grant published The Bugger, Bugged, the actor has been involved in one of the biggest media and political events in years. He managed to turn the tables on phone-hacking journalists by secretly recording Paul McMullan's comments on illegal activity which was acknowledged by politicians.

In the month's following, Grant became a figurehead in the fight against Murdoch's News Corporation and even appeared on Question Time, giving a level-headed and composed performance far above that of most politicians on the show.

It was this composure and dedication which first made him appear as a worthy candidate for leadership. Anyone who has seen Love Actually will know he can play the role. The film proves, if he was in power, Britain would have a far greater interest in politics and the love life of its leader.


"Anything to put off actually running the country."

If you were looking for more tenuous links between his characters and an ability to lead, they are abundant. From About a Boy's effective 30 minute time management system to Notting Hill's ability to admit to mistakes ("Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?").

Sure, being a unexpected dad may leave him with less time for the whole running the country thing. But as the only real requirement of the Prime Minister is one weekly lunch with the Queen, he could probably fit it in. Anyway, if you do choose to believe the papers which he hates so much (and I am not saying you should), the new addition to his life may be taking up less of his time than it is his money.

Past all this, the true reason I believe in Grant is down to what he has achieved. I do not know a single person who doesn't at least like him and I know a few who love him. However, this adoration is impressive as he has never seemed to want or need it.

Hugh Grant is a man who is liked, without wanting to be liked. And that is what a leader should be. Powerful, strong and committed in the face of anger.

The future face of Britain?

All too often leaders risk harming the country in order to appease mass voters and this fear of not keeping public opinion high holds us back. Having a Prime Minister who could maintain the populace's admiration without pandering to their occasionally misinformed wants would make Britain a far better place.

 

A leader should do what is best for those they lead, whether they are praised for it or not and Grant has shown he has the ability to do this.

Beyond his abilities to lead, having a famous face at the front of our nation would allow us to re-brand ourselves. Unfortunately, a lot of Grant's earlier characters encapsulate some of the stereotypes we might want to be moving away from but the confidence and thick skin he has become known for in his real persona are admiral qualities to build a country's image around.

Comments in the past of how acting wasn't a true goal and more a job he fell into hint at the desire for a change, so maybe this is not an unthinkable option. Overall, I just think we need a Prime Minister with the balls to ask "Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?"

But maybe I am wrong to back this particular celebrity. Let me know if there is anyone else I should be considering.

P.S. In case you were wondering, I also think Alec Baldwin should be President of the America.

How to Improve Britain #1: A Day of Darkness

Over the past months, my view of Britain has become somewhat more optimistic (as has my view of most things). I've seen some of the nicer places within the country and found some of the more impressive things it has to offer. However, there is still room for improvement.

I wanted to write about this room and thought I could start with something political like the country's view on immigration or something poignant like the flaws within the British press but then I realised there was something far more important which could make this a drastically better country. Here it is...

A Day of Darkness

The last few winters have supplied us with a fair amount of snow. Yet, despite the appearance of one of my Top 5 Happy Things and the ability to wear fingerless gloves, the British winter is still a miserable occurrence.

While I wrote this I sat in a second floor classroom (for the record, I should have been learning about how the inc- prefix works in shorthand) and looked out over a tree filled skyline. Unusually, the sun shone brightly and elegantly glowed upon the beautiful brown colours of the leaves. It was unreasonably depressing.

Even snow looks cooler in the Day of Darkness.

It was depressing because I knew by the time I got out of there, the only light available would be from dim, orange lampposts. On top of this, when I eventually made it back to my sleepy village, there wouldn't even be lampposts to light the cold streets. All this and I'm not even sure if it is technically winter yet.

It may be unreasonable to ask for evenings which are illuminated by drawn out sunsets until eleven pm all year round so, instead, picture something a little more dramatic in the depths of our winters.

Imagine the days closing in a bit more and giving us just one day of complete, all encompassing darkness. A day where everything was moonlit throughout and it felt not just okay, but obligatory, to achieve nothing other than a sense of enchantment. This day would give our winter something other than Christmas, New Year's Eve and snow to be carried by as temperatures drop.

Halloween could finally be as scary as it is in Buffy.

Envision being eight years old again and reaching the one day of the year when no sun light touches your life (without the help of the moon). Halloween wouldn't stand a chance of matching up to the magical feeling of that day and, obviously, the holiday would be moved to this Day of Darkness.

As you got older the day may mean a bit less and the magic may disperse but, in the right situation, with the right friends, great fun could still be had. Parties, picnics, a day of random games in the dark, it would be amazing to be able to waste a day away and not notice time passing. To just enjoy yourself and have normal life suspended by the lack of morning.

The day would have to be a public holiday for some reason or another. Maybe people couldn't work in the dark or maybe there would be some kind of religious reason. However it happened, the day would need to be celebrated with a total lack of work.

TV would be full of horror movie marathons stretching all through the day, with some more family friendly options thrown in for good measure.

Finally, every year, an over the top event, with disappointing celebrities and too many sponsors, would be put on. After a few years, even though it wouldn't have ever been any good, people will talk about how it has become so much as they have matured.

By the time you've grown up and had a family the Day of Darkness could have become nothing more than a forced, oversold, gimmick of a day when you have to put in a lot of effort to keep your kids happy. However, if you have managed to stay young at heart there would still be something special in the day. It could be a chance to remember how much you had enjoyed this day decades ago or a chance to forget about the responsibilities the world has pushed onto you and just have fun with the people you love.

The correct use of candles will make all bedrooms look like this.

Obviously there is no one who can make this day occur (as far as I am aware) but I still think it would help. To be honest, I just think the country needs a little more magic, something to look forward to in the cold of winter and a chance to feel young again once the years attempt to take away our youth and innocence.

So, what do you think of the Day of Darkness as a way to improve Britain?

P.S. The candle industry would boom. Who would want to use electricity on the Day of Darkness?

Review: Don't Dress for Dinner

This review was originally written for The Public Reviews.

Don’t Dress For Dinner – Palace Theatre, Southend

Writer: Marc Camoletti

Adapter: Robin Hawdon

Director: Bruce James

Reviewer: Jonathan Cooper

The Public Reviews Rating: 

Laughter flows consistently throughout Robin Hawdon’s adaptation of Don’t Dress for Dinner. A classic French story of the misadventures resulting from a married couple and their simultaneous affairs, the events of the play have been given a very English edge in the Palace Theatre Southend.

The most enjoyable aspects of the show are unquestionably the script and the charisma with which the cast delivers it. With an intentional detachment from reality, each of the five main actors excels at creating laughs through the use of the dialogue and their own comedic abilities.

If original writer, Marc Camoletti, could have a complaint with this adaptation, it would be due to the lack of consistency within the plays setting. The misunderstandings and drama that lead to the lies and comedy take place in the front room of a barn house two hours outside of Paris but little dedication is given to this. With the exception of a few well placed, and often hilarious, references, there is hardly anything within the play to pay homage to its origin.

The one room backdrop and regularly changing costumes tell more of a modern British countryside than anything French. However, this performance is not about attention to cultural detail and, to this end, the lighting and sound offer little towards the productions value.

What makes the show so enjoyable is its ability to create hilarity through rehearsed lines as well as through the improvisation of Ben Roddy and Damian Williams. There are some mistakes throughout but these allow for the greatest comedic moments to shine through while separating the proceedings even further from belief.

Damian plays the untrustworthy friend, secret lover and increasing drunk while bringing increasing joviality to his role. He breaks character only when the situation calls for his personal input unlike fellow cast member, Jacqueline Roberts, who occasionally finds it impossible to maintain composure when it would be preferable. He understands when his personality will benefit the show and offers the prefect level of over-acting for the situations.

There are no attempts or illusions of grandeur in this Don’t Dress for Dinner but, while there may be a few faults in detail, it does achieve something very important. It makes people laugh. Thanks to the charisma of the cast it is a very enjoyable play in which no two nights will be the same. In this world, there is a perfect place for simplistic, over the top and slightly slapstick humour and this is it.

Runs until 12th November.

Find the original review, and many others, here: thepublicreviews.com/dont-dress-for-dinner-palace-theatre-southend/

Goodbye Breakfast Club, Hello St. Elmo's Fire

There was a time when I first watched The Breakfast Club and felt a rather embarrassing level of empathy with the five characters. Sure, they may have been exaggerations and simplifications of real life and yes, they may have looked suspiciously like thirty year olds but it was impossible to not draw connections between the lives those high school kids were living and what my friends and myself were going through.

I would never risk calling the film believable or the characters accurate but there is a lot in their stories that can lend itself to real life. There is something in the characters' fears of each other and attempts to hide their intentions that resounds with my experience of school and even university.

A few months later I watch another film. St. Elmo's Fire. The characters were six years older (while the cast were exactly the same age) and they were done with high school. They were even done with university and they were finding their way into a grown up life.

At the time, it all seemed so far away from me. The fears of discovering what you wanted to do and holding yourselves together while moving forward seemed so distant. I couldn't imagine the idea of careers or relationships stealing my friends away when I was seeing them everyday at school. I couldn't picture the stress of finding a career when I still thought what I chose to do for A-Levels had any relevance to the rest of my life.

However, things change. The other week I found myself looking at the two DVD cases realising something. The days of living the lives of The Breakfast Club characters was over. My friends and I had hit the St. Elmo's Fire days.

My first thought was that this is a testament to my friends. In the first film, there's no hint that the group of people will be together even a day later, let alone years, and in the second, the friendships were made at university. The group we exist in managed to continue on from those angst filled teenage days to reach this next stage and face it together and I feel that deserves some celebration.

My second thought was something along the lines of swearing in an over the top and expletive manner. The main plot of the film that now depicts our time was the characters failures to adapt to life after university. Some distracted themselves by spending money, others lied, one became obsessed with someone they just met and only a few characters were really honest about what they were trying to do.

I didn't want to become like this. I didn't want to be trapped, missing the amazing times from my life before or during university and unable to fit into my new world. It was a real fear and something that almost stopped me making any progress. But then I remembered one of my favourite phrases... "It's time to nut up or shut up."

After all, the basic premise of the film is the characters learning to overcome the issues they picked up over their Breakfast Club years and dealing with their futures. I believe I've done the first of those two objectives and would like to believe I'm working on the second.

The time when we could let ourselves be defined by the things we liked and the people we spent time with is long gone. It's time to move on to the next stage. I'll be honest, it is a scary one even when you do feel like you're doing pretty well but my final thought on the matter made it all feel better. After the St Elmo's Fire (troubled and confusing but ultimately very exciting) years have been survived, you can sit back and enjoy the How I Met Your Mother years. And we all know those are going to be awesome.

A Change of Direction

I'm back in England now after enjoying the last few weeks in France with friends (which apparently left you guys to rip up the place). While I was there I realised something about what this blog became in its first weeks. In my excitement over starting my course and having focus for the first time in years I may have gone a little blog happy.

I guess it was similar to those times when you find a new band that you fall in love with. You listen to every song again and again as if each one of them is the best song since Boys Don't Cry. This can be kept up for weeks as you listen and love every chord and every lyric but one day you listen to Dreaming of Manhattan and realise that, while this is from the same band that gave you Do Better, not every song is golden.

And so, this is where I am. From now on I'll screen my thoughts, reconsider my views and make an attempt to improve what gets placed here. Hopefully I'll find my way to a better writing style but if not, at the very least, there'll be less random thoughts from my head that a surprising amount of you seem obliged to read (a fact that I thank you for endlessly).

Of course, there is a secondary reason for this change and it is somewhat more personal. It came from a separate realisation during my time away and it may surprise a few of you that it has taken me this long to get here but, in essence, I want to yell less.

Now, this isn't me saying I want to argue less. I love arguments as well as my passion for politics and pop culture but something does need to change. I want to be able to maintain a sense of composure while I argue rather than going on the aggressive as I so often do. This change won't be easy but maybe in considering my views more in my writing I can start to bring that into my real life too.

From now on you'll be hearing slightly less from me but what you hear should hopefully be slightly more thought out. In this vain I wanted the next thing I write to be something I've thought about a lot and so it will be a piece on British identity (if there is one) called Who Are We?.

Top 5 Holidays

In the ungodly early hours of Sunday morning I'll be leaving the country via ferry with ten friends to stay in France for two weeks. As always before a trip like this I'm unreasonably excited and thinking back over all of my best holidays. Here are the Top 5...


Number 5 - Devon 2008
Before we were brave enough to leave the country, my friends and I went on our second holiday to a beautiful house in Devon. The week fell in one of the happiest but most confused times of my life and was one of those situations where everything just seemed to come together and I could ignore any issues because I was surrounded by the best people.

What I remember most is that this week was a complete example of everything I had wanted from my friendships. The days were spent either travelling around the local area (which took a long time to get to) when the rain let up and sitting around playing games when it didn't. At night people drank which led to large amounts of running around, singing and unexpected henna use.The holiday also gave me the chance to start building the incredible friendship I now have with my first girlfriend after a long time of distance between us.

I won't say any more for a reason that will be made clear later, but for now I'll just finish with that fact that this week and the holiday before set a trend that I hope will last for decades to come.

Devon Crew 2008, minus Champagne due to life threatening illness.

Number 4 - New Zealand South Island 2002
One of the things I loved about living in New Zealand was how the country managed to contain two completely different identities. I lived on the north island in Wellington and much of life around there paralleled life in England with the exceptions of some cultural changes and a far more relaxed attitude to life. However, when we spent a few weeks travelling around the south island we found something entirely different.

The natural sights of beautiful forests and lakes that were so still they acted as mirrors for the surrounding peaks are carved into my memory clearer than anything I've ever seen. We took a cruise down through the river where parts of Lord of the Rings were filmed and I got to touch seals as they swam where the sea came inland. Past all the beauty and spectacle of the trip I loved travelling with my family. It was a family that had left everything we knew behind and journey across the world together. It was this holiday and the whole New Zealand experience that brought me closer to them.


Number Three - Ischgl 1996
While I was growing up my dad spent a lot of time working in Germany which led to some great holidays that I can barely remember. What I do remember (in vague pictures built up in my mind) are several trips to Austrian mountains where I learnt to ski. I love skiing and Austria as a country but one of my favourite memories of these holidays is having my dad read The Hobbit to myself and my brother as we went to bed.


Number Two - Norfolk 1998
I don't have a huge amount of memories from when I was a child. It's kind of as if some terrible event happened that I'm blocking out but I know that isn't true (well I think I know it isn't true). My favourite memories of growing up were the new years. Every year after Christmas my family would travel to Norfolk with two others and we would have the most amazing breaks.

What really sticks in my mind about the whole thing was the tradition of it all. It obviously took a lot of work from all of the parents to keep it going but to me it just seemed to happen ever year and I would get to have fun with other kids and parents without any stress or hassle. It was my first experience of just enjoying something without having to fear losing it.

The most important thing about those holidays is that it's where I realised what I wanted from my friendships and my life. My parents had these amazingly close bonds to people that had been built over time and so much of what I've done since has been in the hope of one day having equally strong bonds and spending new years with old friends and our children, just having fun and not worrying about losing it.


Number One - Devon 2010
Devon 2008 was incredible but Devon 2010 was the realisation of a dream I'd envisioned since I was a boy. You just read about the formation of that dream but when a slightly different group of us went away for a week last year I found all those things I'd wanted. It was the most relaxed and enjoyable week I've ever had. There was no drama and no arguments. Everyone got along and I loved every single day we spent there (even the one I spent cleaning up the results of an horrendously drunk night).

Devon Crew 2010, minus Rosanna due to early leaving.

One highlight was a day spent at a place called The Big Sheep which we had driven past and ignored every year to the dismay of Champagne. There were lots of cute animals and things that I probably should have found more interesting, but the awesome outside laser tag thing was the main surprise. The whole week was so great because it wasn't about creating friendships or starting traditions. We had the friendships and the traditions sorted already and it was time to just enjoy them.

A good game of Shoot the Greek.

That week made a dream come true decades before I expected it to and set a benchmark for all other holidays I'll go on in the future. For awhile I even worried that other holidays would be found wanting in comparison to this one but the fact that I'm this excited about leaving on Sunday lets me know that even something as great as this holiday can be topped.


An honourably mention goes to the awesome weekend at Alton Towers for Brian's birthday. I thought two nights wasn't really enough to count as a holiday but it really was a great way to end an incredible year.


So I'll be gone for a few weeks now, but I'll try to have something interesting to say when I get back. Bye.

Not Quite My Favourite Post Secret of the Week

Unfortunately there wasn't anything I connected with on a particularly personal level this week on Post Secret so instead I got thinking about how odd it would've been if the person who sent in the secret I wrote about last week was one of the people who viewed the blog. I would love to know if I interpreted it in the right way and if not, what they thought of what I said.

But anyway, here's a couple of funny pictures...

I wish I could say I made these but I didn't. They're from the internet. There are a lot of them out there, Post Secrets that have been messed with (or improved) and these are two of my favourites. They show one of my most feverish beliefs, that everything should be mocked. No matter how much you may care about or enjoy something, never forget the funny side of it because that's when you disappear into arrogance and pretentiousness. Also, I do still think about how awesome Arrested Development was.

So yeah, short blog today. Blame the people who sent in less interesting secrets (unless you're one of those people, in which case I apologise profusely). The next one I put up will be my last before a few lovely weeks away in France with my friends, so it will be a Top 5 Holidays.

Top 5 Songs Which Will Remind Me of Uni

I decided to go with more reminiscing about university for this Top 5 so here's the music will always be attributed to Surrey for me...


5. The Used - Pretty Handsome Awkward
It was a few months into my first year when I went to a No Wave night and a girl I'd never met played this song. I was in a strange place and had been drifting through uni without making any real connections to anyone, but that changed as I met the girl playing this song. Eventually I got to know her and realised that she was almost as awesome as I'd hoped she would be in those first moments but the feeling that this song reminds me of is being dwarfed by the sheer ability of some people to make me feel so young.

As I first spoke to her I felt an oddly comforting version of inferiority. It was as if anything I'd done in the past could be written off as the history of a teenage boy and now an adulthood could start to occur with this new person. Of course, in time you always discover that an adulthood contains many of the same mistakes you made in your teenage years, but this song will always remind me of that vague sense of hope that comes with the first year of university and an opportunity to start everything all over again.


4. Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog - A Man's Gotta Do
One of the things I love about friendship groups is when everybody gets into something together. It can be music, films, TV or just things like in jokes and traditions. I know some people on the outside see these things as annoyances and ways to stop new people from joining in with established groups, but I don't see it like that. I think that if the people of a friendship group are letting you see their in jokes, its because they are OK with you being in on them, and you just have to take the time to get to know them all.

Anyway, there was a time in second year when it seemed like every single member of Game Soc got obsessed with Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. It was a great time as people would randomly break out into the songs and random quotes could make people laugh. That's what I really like about those kind of in jokes, they reduce the requirement's to create happiness down to just a few words. I could have taken any song from the musical, but I choose this one because it was also my favourite song to come on shuffle at the gym as hearing Nathan Fillion singing like that is great motivation.

A final point on this one is that Gareth makes one hell of a bad-ass Dr. Horrible.

Gareth as Dr. Horrible, thanks to Karl Lindgren.

 

3. Throwdown - Baby Got Back
Most of my memories with this song involve me being incredibly drunk. From No Wave nights to Conspiracy to parties, this song has been sung everywhere in Guildford. However, my favourite memory of it comes from the second year lake party. I was pretty drunk by this point (as anyone who saw me that night can attest to) but I do remember holding Brian in total pride to my friends from home who had turned up while he sang every word of the song. It was an odd way for a feeling to form, but now this song makes me think of how well my friends from uni mix with my friends from home and how happy that makes me.



2. Mark Aaron James - Kleptomaniac Girlfriend
There aren't many of Mark Aaron James' songs that won't remind me of uni. He played at house parties in two separate years and both nights were brilliant. This song itself will remind me of the parties we threw in Milhouse as getting a room full of people to sing along with the chorus was an awesome moment. Mark is such a nice guy as well as being the most impressive writer of lyrics I've ever heard. Having him around Guildford really added something to the atmosphere.

Some of the crowd of people in Milhouse watching Mark Aaron James.

1. Say Anything - Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too
Once again, this could've been an obvious ending to the Top 5 for some people. At some point early on in final year I got pretty obsessed with the music of Say Anything. Something about the openness and honesty of their lyrics combined with Max Bemis' unique view of the world spoke to me and I couldn't help but over analyse every single song. There isn't much to analyse in this example, just pure hilarity. The song kept coming up throughout the year, from quoting it at random times, to playing it for the enjoyment of house mates as well as a "fuck you" to pretentious metal head douche bags at No Wave and singing it into a mike as an odd choice as a favourite song during a recorded interview type thing. This song will go down as a reminder of the amount of fun that was had in my final year of university thanks to the people who surrounded me.



My next post will be a second of My Favourite Post Secret of the Week providing there is one, or Some Random Thing I Think Of if there isn't


Oh yes, honourably mentions for the lines "It's just one of those days..." and "Say, EAT MY GOAL!"

Top 5 Comic Book Films

With Captain America being released today, I thought it was a good time to write up one of my favourite top fives. It was the first of the X-Men films that really brought me into the world of being a true geek and since then there have been countless great examples of films about costumed heroes, as well as some terrible ones like Catwoman, Elektra and Scott Pilgrim (kidding). I love a lot of comic book films, but the following are my five favourites.


Number 5 - X2
I don't believe there's ever been a film made of Marvel characters that achieved its potential. That said, X2 came the closest. Starting with a wonderful use of Nightcrawler and progressing through a wide cast of brilliant heroes and villains. Putting Magneto on the good side was a gutsy move for a film marketed to a mainstream audience. Also, watching Wolverine go feral to defend the school was a lot of fun.

While X-Men 3: The Last Stand brutally slammed the symbolism of mutants as any marginalised group in society into viewers faces with no attempt at subtlety, the preceding film managed to delicately hint at it. The clearest sight of this is Iceman's scene in which he tells his parents he is a mutant. Everything about the film is great but what puts it behind all of the others on this list is that it just doesn't come together as well. The end product just isn't as much fun or as interesting, but still, it's the best Marvel have got (for now).


Number 4 - Kick-Ass
Two things set this film apart from the rest of the list. The first is that nothing within it is impossible or particularly unrealistic. The second is that it came from humble beginnings. Every other film here had the benefit of using some of the best examples of comic books created, but Kick-Ass came from a comic that offered it little to stand on. Every single change that the film team made only improved the story and the characters and that's something you really have to respect.

The lack of any fantasy elements as well as the violence and an offensive little girl gained the film some harsh criticism (albeit from the same people who give harsh criticisms to gay marriages and immigrants) but these things are what give the film its edge. With a separation from the super powers and escapism found in most comic book films came a realism that led to my love of this story that shows just what people could be capable of given enough money or boredom. Beyond that what completed this film was a soundtrack that would be unbeatable, if it weren't for the next three films.


Number 3 - Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
From the lowest of starting points to one of the highest. The Scott Pilgrim comics are one of the funniest creations known to man and the film almost managed to live up to them in every way. Sure, some characters lost depth in the cutting process, but there is only so much you can put in one film, and Kim still manages to be completely brilliant even without 75% of her dialogue. What makes this film great really is the characters, from the evil ex's to Scott's friends and real life enemies (well them and every single beautiful geek reference provided by director Edgar Wright).

Scott Pilgrim's view on the world gives the struggle to get what you want an entertaining twist as the action, the music and the comedy creates a world that's only just outside of our own. In the end, the film is still a love story, and its nice to believe that even someone as immature as Scott can find happiness by beating up enough douche bags.


Number 2 - Watchmen
Terry Gilliam is one of the greatest directors to ever create a film, but even he once deemed the Watchmen graphic novel (and this is one of few comics that deserves that term) "unfilmable". Thank God, then, Zack Snyder decided to disregard those words and film it with epic results. With the complete version coming in at over three and a half hours long, there is so much achieved within the film. Never have politics and personal issues of sanity and inferiority been displayed in such detail in a film about costumed heroes.

Even with the huge run time, some of the finer details are lost from the comic, but all the important things are there as every single character is shown in such depth. If you want to see heroes being heroic, watch Iron Man, but if you want to watch the idea of being a hero used as a backdrop to preview some of the most interesting mind states in literature, then watch this. However, what gives this film its place on the list, and almost won it the title, is that the action is still incredible. The direction and soundtrack lend itself so well to what is happening that the characters do seem heroic, despite all of their flaws. Oh, and one final point, the film ending is better than the comic book ending (no matter what the snobbiest of geeks would have you hear).


Number 1 - The Dark Knight
It isn't often that the world's best director pulls in a selection of the finest actors of multiple generations to play parts they seemed to be born for, set to a beautiful soundtrack with some of the most interesting source material ever provided, but it all happened here. Christopher Nolan toppled an entire genre when he used Batman's two greatest enemies to show more of the hero than had ever been seen. A tale of just how much people will sacrifice for what they believe in, we were shown what it takes to be a true hero, and just how hard it can be to do the right thing.

So much has been said about Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker that I won't hang on it, but its clear to see that few roles have ever been dedicated to in the same way. Beyond this is an entire cast giving performances that made me engage more with this film than any other comic book film in history. I'm a Marvel nerd at heart and I always have been, so when I watched this film I really didn't want it to beat X2, but in the end there can barely be a comparison. One is a glossy show of superpowers that's greatest triumph is the display of a metaphor, while the other is a journey into how much it would take to commit to something you believed in while still hanging on to your own ideology.


Of course, there's a chance that Captain America or, more likely, The Avengers could take a place on this list. That's the great thing about comic book films now, there's so many of them that some are bound to be great. And have a look at this...

So that's it, some more random crap that I decided. Thank you for reading. The next blog goes back to me missing Guildford and will be the Top 5 Songs That Will Remind Me of Uni.

In Defence of the Genre: Top 5 Romantic Comedy Films

A film came out the other day that will be all but forgotten about within a month. There will be few people over the coming years who say "ah yeah, Friends with Benefits was the best film since Fight Club" but that doesn't mean it won't be good. As with most romantic comedies the aim will be to make everything look pretty, to have some laughs and to leave you feeling happy about life and the possibility of finding someone. Friends with Benefits won't do anything new and I doubt it will even take a place on the following list, but I'm pretty excited about seeing Justin Timerblake and Mila Kunis star in what should be a very enjoyable film.


Number 5 - 10 Things I Hate About You
Strip away my geek credentials and label me a teenage girl if you will, but this is a damn good film. While technically being a modernisation of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, the film had a large enough tongue in its cheek to get away with its flaws and lack of originality. It contained some of the finest young actors of a generation including Heath Ledger before the darkness and tragedy and Joseph Gordon-Levitt before the suits. 10 Things I Hate About You may not have been big or clever, it may signify the lack of ambition of the genre but it's just so much fun.



Number 4 - Definitely, Maybe
Before I say anything else, there's one thing that needs to be taken care of and that is that Ryan Reynolds is the new king of romantic comedy acting. He has an uncanny ability to play any role and make you wish you could be that person (although this feeling could be exclusive to me). In this example he plays a single father who is pretty disheartened with his job and yet still you can't hope to ever be as cool as he is. It helps that his daughter is played by Abigail Breslin and is as awesome as any parent could want their offspring to become.

What separates this from other rom-coms is that the conclusion isn't completely obvious until near the end of the film and there's even some light politics thrown in as a backing for all the romance. Overall, Definitely, Maybe manages to show half of what Reynolds does best (he is funny and compelling but doesn't take his shirt off and kill/insult anyone) and also shows off a great young actress while being unpredictable and loveable all the way along, which is far more than you could normally ask for in a film of its type.


Number 3 - Chasing Amy
Hand me back those geek credentials please because Kevin Smith is here. The film he created is one that is truly unique within this genre as it tells a genuinely heart-warming tale without collapsing in with clichés. Centred around a comic book artist, the lesbian he has fallen in love with, and his confused best friend, the story manages to find the feelings we all experience in our love lives despite its peculiar setting.

Smith has always been a director that gets the best out of his casts, and this is a shining of example of that fact as Ben Affleck gives the performance of his career. Even if the witty dialogue and wonderful on screen chemistries don't do it for you, Chasing Amy should be loved for building on a genre that so often settles for reusing old story lines and, mainly, for showing us that all problems, no matter how personal, can be solved with the use of a threesome.



Number 2 - (500) Days of Summer
This film has an awful lot going for it, the soundtrack is pretty much perfect, the direction is inspired and the story has a level of originality. However, what really makes it special is how realistic it all is, the depth of it's characters and the abilities of the actors who make them so excruciatingly believable. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel portray characters that are so beautifully well developed and flawed that nothing that happens within the film seems unreal. Somewhere between the writing, the direction and the acting has been found the truest form of what relationships are like.

The heights this film reaches are so rarely found in any films, let alone those in such a restricting genre, that certain scenes have been burnt into my memory. The two that really show just how good the film is are Gordon-Levitt's celebration of sleeping with Deschanel for the first time, which gorgeously mimics the narcissism and gratuitous arrogance that exists in all men (but rarely gets admitted too), and the expectations against reality scene, which is harrowing in its realism.

If (500) Days of Summer does have two flaws they are clear. The first would be the final line (please, someone find whoever wrote that line and do whatever you can to make sure they have no place in great films any more) and just how familiar the whole thing is (I'm currently taking a break from watching it again in an attempt to maintain a level of mental stability).



Number 1 - High Fidelity
High Fidelity is one of those films that contains the greatest parts of each of the last four mentioned on the list, adds in my favourite book ever written as source material, and creates something completely wonderful. It takes a heart-warming ending, the original God of romantic comedies as a star, deep characterisation, an unbeatable soundtrack and the fiercest understanding of the male psyche that has ever been displayed. John Cusack's Rob Gordon may not be the nicest person in the world, but he displays so much of what every man sees in himself that we can't help but love him.

While High Fidelity may offer more in the way of a textbook into how men think than anything else for female viewers and could de accused of losing something in wrapping up the end in such a happy way, the journey that we are taking through with the narration is a work of art. Never have I seen such an honest portrayal of all the horrible, selfish, arrogant things men think of when we are in our own heads, but the fact that through all of his faults, you still want everything to work out for Gordon shows just how good Nick Hornby is at creating well rounded characters. Beyond that, the happy ending is a testament and a reminder to all of us that if we ever decide to grow up, a re-establishment of the perfect status quo is possible, and happiness can be found despite our flaws (or maybe I've just spent a bit too much time around pop culture).


The next blog will be in a similar fashion as Captain America is being released on Friday and I will be in fan boy heaven so will write my Top 5 Comic Book Films list.

My Favourite Post Secret of the Week

Most of the people reading this blog already know what Post Secret is but, just in case you don't, it is a website that shows postcards people have sent in with their secrets on. At worst it can be pretentious, self-involved and passive aggressive (kind of like blogging) but it can occasionally be thought provoking and inspiring.

This is my favourite Post Secret from this week's selection because it is something I expect to feel in fifteen to twenty years time.  

Stephen King wrote a great piece on all the dreams and ambitions you can have when you're young in the introduction to The Gunslinger. When considering how unrealistic these things are, he asked: "If you don't start out too big for your britches, how are you gonna fill 'em when you grow up?"


When you're young you set yourself goals and you give yourself ideals but as you get older the goals start to seem more unattainable and the ideals are lost to the struggles of the real world. It is my understanding that few lives go according to their original plans. More commonly people wake up one morning in their late thirties and realise "Wow, this is my life." When you do wake up that morning with the memories of the dreams you once had and the ideals that were bargained away, it is the person you wake up to and all the other people in your life who make the sacrifices worthwhile.

When you accept the fact you will never play for a professional sports team, never star in the film which defines your generation and occasionally vote for a political party who sit so far away from the left that the eighteen year old version of you would cry, it is the relationships you have with people that will get you through. Your friends, your partner, your children and your siblings will be the people to let you know, while you never set the world alight, you honestly improved their lives.

While part of me will always hang onto the dream of owning the last successful independent record store in London, I know it will probably never happen. What makes that knowledge bearable is an image I have. An image of sitting at a dinner table on a Saturday night after a stressful week with a drink in hand. I'll look around the table and see the wife I love, the friends I have had for decades and the children I am proud of. On that night I will think to myself "Fuck (because my vocabulary won't have improved). I made it, my life is awesome."

Stephen King is right, aim high when you're young, aim for the impossible. If you're mighty enough you might even make it happen but if not, the place you find yourself when you're lost will still be pretty incredible and the people who are there with you will be the people you love (as long as you're not a douche pirate).



My next blog will be called In Defence of the Genre: Top 5 Romantic Comedy Films to celebrate the release of Friends with Benefits, which looks pretty funny and just all round pretty.

Britain Wanted No Alternative To Whining

To start off, I'll admit this is an out dated blog. The issue closed months ago and it probably achieves nothing to write about it now, but the truth is I wasn't writing a blog when it happened and leaving it any later will only make it more out dated. Therefore, I suppose this is the best possible time for me to write it.


On the 5th of May 2011 the UK was given the opportunity to change their political system, and a resounding 70% of the voting populace (around 15% of the actual population) showed that they were happy a First Past The Post system rather than changing to Alternative Voting . Now, my views on this are easy to state, this was a mistake. The voting people of Britain were giving a once in a life time chance to change politics in their country, and they decided to stick with what they had, despite us being a country renowned for complaining about politics. I don't want this blog to sound overly preachy (although I know that it will) so I am going to give this some kind of structure. Luckily, I found that my structure has three parts that all start with the same letter. Stuff like that is cool, right? First up I will give a Reason for this blog, then a Reminder about something before ending with a Request.


Reason
There are a lot of reasons why I supported the campaign for AV, I could write about Arrow's Theorem of Voting or the terrible correlation between votes and power under FPTP, but the first is boring and the second is something that everybody already knows about. Instead I'll go with this, my main reason for supporting YES2AV was...

Over the past generations (I have no real idea when it started, I wasn't there) the people of Britain created a mind state for their political system. Somewhere along the line, most people gave up on the idea of voting for what they actually believed in or wanted for the country and started voting against whichever one of the two biggest parties they hated more.

There was a time when this made slightly more sense than it currently does. There was a time when Labour actually existed on the left side of politics and could've even been described as socialist (occasionally). However, things have changed. New Labour didn't just bring with it a massive budget deficit and deaths around the world but also a move to the right that landed themselves snugly next to views of the Conservatives. This means that Britain now has two centre-right parties that try to get votes by slagging off the other. Despite this, if people want to believe they aren't horrible, free-market, homophobes, they vote New Labour, and if people want to think they aren't communists, they vote Conservative.

This mind state will get us nowhere as both parties currently represent the same ideals and if you have a conversation with anyone, we all seem to hate those ideals. So my main reason for supporting AV was for the chance to change this. Under the Alternative Voting system people could happily vote for whatever crazy ideals they truly believed in, safe in the knowledge that if that party failed, they could vote for their least hated big boy second.

If the vote on the 5th of May had gone a different way, we could have finally seen what the people of this country actually want and what they actually believe in. But it didn't and we have cursed ourselves to generations of hanging on to outdated views of parties who used to have real values and voting to stop those dirty socialists (despite New Labour having next to no socialism in their politics) or nasty Tories (despite their most hated policies being forced by New Labour's greatest fuck ups) getting into power. Sure, there was a chance we would discover the majority of this country supports the BNP, but if that's what the country wants then give it to them. I would be out of here quicker than anyone else, but if the BNP are the party the British people want, then it is the one they deserve and I would happily leave them to turn even more sour in their own pathetic juices.


Reminder
Onto the second part of this blog, a reminder (which is a great song by The Perishers, if anyone cares). I'm not sure how many people know about this, but the NO2AV campaign was one run by propaganda and lies. The fact that the population of Britain fell for the stories they were throwing around is something that truly makes me question whether I can live in this country for the rest of my life.

First up, there is no evidence that an AV system would actually give the BNP more power, that was just something given out to get the nice people of middle Britain all outraged. However, the more important lies can be seen by the following picture.

The statistics the NO2AV side put out were incredibly full of holes, but the most true showing of this came on the 4th of May when David Blunkett came out and admitted the huge number you see at the top of that leaflet was entirely made up. The people who feared for their jobs under a new system got together and thought of a big number that would anger people into voting for their side and Britain fell for it because we still trust these people despite being shown time and time again that most current politicians will lie and deceive daily to get what they want.

So, this is the reminder. If you're ever in an argument with someone about anything to do with politics and they bring up something along the lines of New Labour or the Conservatives having too much power, people not standing up for what they believe in, or having no power in their votes, ask them which way they voted on the 5th of May, or if they even did vote. If their answer is they didn't vote, or they voted No, they have no right to be making those arguments and, more importantly than that, remind them that they sided with a group of people who used propaganda to hold Britain's progress back for their own interests.


Request
And here's my request, if there is anyone out there who voted No, or didn't vote at all, please tell me why. If you didn't vote, I understand it may have just been through bad planning or apathy, but if you voted No, please comment with your argument for why First Past The Post is a better system than Alternative Voting. I'm asking this because to date I haven't seen a single viable argument for FPTP and I think I'd be able to move on if someone could give me one. I feel like a dumped teenager who was never given a reason for why things had to end. I know AV isn't the perfect system, and I am a supporter of Proportional Representation, but if you are reading this and have a defence of FPTP, please state it. It could really help me get over this and, if nothing else, I'm sure my friends would thank you for that.


That's my preaching over for now, the next blog will be the My Favourite Post Secret of the Week.

Top 5 Things I'll Miss About University - Part 2

Moving swiftly on from where I left off, we are at...


Number 3 - Basketball  
I've loved basketball since I first saw my dad play with some friends while I was still a kid. I loved it so much that, even during my exile from physical activity, I agreed to play in the singular match of the unbeaten Davenant Sixth Form Basketball Team, set up by Demos Averkiou. Although I quickly retreated back my life of distancing myself from the sports types of the world, I still remembered the simple pleasure of throwing a sphere through a cylinder and as I spent my time sitting in living rooms watching One Tree Hill, I never let myself forget how much I wanted to play again.

It was Gareth Barker who helped me bring it all together. He convinced me to book a court and after we spoke to our house-mates and sent a few Facebook messages, it actually happened, a collection of geeks played basketball and from the very first game it was something that I loved. Finally, after years of participating in team sports in this country with aggressive, testosterone driven douche bags, I could play an amazing sport with friends who were willing to have fun. Playing with friends also meant one other crucial factor, my own competitive nature which had led to problems in the past could be kept under control (most of the time, as long as someone didn't throw a ball at certain areas of my body with force). 

The other reason that playing again really made my last few months at uni different was that it was nice to remember that, when I'm not surrounded by people I hate, I'm actually not the worst athlete in the world. I wish we had started earlier and had more time for it, but all of it will be a truly great memory to take from uni, and the thing on this list I most look forward to doing again when I visit my friends who are still there.


Number 2 - Game Soc + No Wave
 I loved societies at Surrey and its only recently that I really figured out why. I thought about all the things I loved about uni, and all the people I'll miss now I'm gone and I realised that they all came one of these two places. Either Game Soc or No Wave, the alternative music society, provided me with every friend and every night I enjoyed while in Guildford. Except for the gym, every item on this list came about because of these societies and, with only one notable exception, every girl I met and horrendously messed things up with while in Surrey came from these places too.

I spent three years as the secretary of Game Soc, a position that didn't require a whole lot after the first few months of being elected, and had more of an on again/off again relationship with the ever changing No Wave but I will be eternally grateful to both societies for giving me the friends, the stories, and even the name that I have taken from them. I'm going to miss the pure escapism that is found in DnD and I'll miss the opportunities to DJ at alternative nights at the university,  but more than that I'll miss the people who made the societies great and hope that they both manage to survive long after I have left.


Number 1 - Milhouse
I hugely doubt that this will be a surprise to anyone who has known me over the last year, but there really could be no other end to this list. For those that don't know, Milhouse is the house I lived in for my final year, and if the societies above are what gave me the greatest things about university, this house was the result of that. I got the chance to live with four (basically five) guys who just made everything fun.

Milhouse at our greatest party.

Between Brian Fraser, Alex Dale, Tom Pritchard, Richard Vickerstaff and the sixth member, Gareth Barker I loved everything about the house. From the parties we threw to the trips to friend's houses and our final, awesome, trip to Alton Towers, everything just worked. But in all honesty, the best thing about the house was that I could spend a night in there, just watching Buffy or Arrested Development and playing Mario Kart and it would be as fun as any night where I would've had to spend stupid amounts of money, go outside, or at least get out of my stretchy pants.

Milhouse at Alton Towers.

The in jokes, rules and traditions that we created within that house will stay with me forever, and I do really believe that I will still be friends with these guys when I am old and sitting on a front porch. I have an image of sitting in my house as an old man on a Sunday afternoon and one of these guys walking in and taking their tops of with a declaration that it is Topless Sunday.

I'll stop soon as I don't want to bore you with how much the house meant to me but I just want to make one last point to show how much I will miss it. From knowing me, or reading what I write, it isn't hard to work out what is the most important thing to me, the friends that have been with me for years. I went to university with a pretty bad mind state that I didn't need anyone else, because I had such incredible friends at home, however all of that went out of the window when the guys of Milhouse showed me that I can find incredible friends anywhere, and it will be my life long goal to steal them to London and have them join my front porch plan.

So, thank you to all five other members of Milhouse, as well as the people in stayed in our house so much and helped make it great, such as Travis Wren and Rosh Sellehewa. It's you guys who gave me what I will miss most about university. You put up with my whining and argumentative nature and made my final year everything I had wanted university to be. Milhouse is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life, and I will always miss the happiness I found in that decrepit old house.



Well, there it is. That's what I'll miss now that I've come home and am getting on with life. I know I'll go back and visit a lot, but it is good to feel as though things are moving somewhere. The next blog is going to be the first of the, out dated, argument type ones and will be called something along the lines of Britain Wanted No Alternative To Whining.

Top 5 Things I'll Miss About University - Part 1

As I said in the last blog, I recently left my uni home for the last time and it has made me all kinds of nostalgic. I had three very different years in Guildford. The first was incredibly fun but consisted of ignoring a lot of issues that had been building up for some time. The second was a more difficult year where I dealt with at least some of those issues and after that everything really came together for my final year and it was one of the greatest I have ever had.

On the following Top 5 you won't see any points dedicated towards drinking or "the freedom of university" because the things I'll miss were more personal than that. I can drink with friends anywhere, and freedom can be found in any place if you look hard enough. These are the five things that really made university for me, the things that I won't be able to have in my life any more and the things I'll truly miss.


Number 5 - The Gym

This may sound like an odd place to start a list of things that I'll miss about university but I really loved that gym. To say that before I went to university I was a skinny kid would be a pretty big understatement. In a different life I loved sport, back when I lived in New Zealand, but when I got back to England I had a few bad experiences with it. These came either through my own competitive nature making me act like an idiot, or the pathetic mentality of most teenage boys making me want to distance myself from them as much as possible. And so I became a dedicated follower of the path of laziness, except for brief but enjoyable bouts of squash with the dad and brother (I know, we are horribly middle-class). I looked like Peter-Parker pre spider bite or Steve Rogers pre super soldier serum, I'm not saying I look like Captain America now, but if you looked at me you could be tricked into believing that I didn't spend all of my alone time as a teenager reading comics and playing RPGs.

In the end I never did get bitten by a spider, as far as I know, and no weird scientist ever gave me some formula to make women want to touch my pecks, it was just a devastating event that filled me with equal amounts of self-loathing and anger that pushed me to get back into activities. A first year house-mate saw how angry I was and suggested that I go to the gym to work off some stress and from there it all happened very quickly. Before I knew it I was going every day, and on slow days I would even consider going twice. It helped. It made me feel better about my self and gave me less time to think about other things. For the first time in my life I was in a situation where talking to my friends couldn't make me feel completely better, and in the end it was an old, dusty building that got me through it.

However its not that old, dusty building that takes a place on this list. It's a new, shiny building. When Surrey Sports Park was built I finally learnt to enjoy the gym without it being about taking out aggression. I was happier again and my reasons from lifting heavy things had changed from a desperate need to concentrate on something to regular, run of the mill stress relief as well as a begrudging vanity and enjoyment of having a better body. With happiness came a lesser attendance to the gym, but it was always there to give me time alone when things got intense. I've found a gym at home, but it just isn't the same. At Surrey Sports Park there was state of the art technology, a climbing centre, swimming pool, squash, tennis, badminton and basketball courts, the latter of which will be coming back later. There was also a nice bar and a Starbucks standing as a wonderful salute to capitalism along with the two others on our campus. So I will miss the Sports Park for the equipment and opportunities, but mainly I will miss it as it was the place where I rediscovered a love of physical activity and later a place where working out changed from something to get me through, to something I could just enjoy.


Number 4 - The Music

4.a. Strangers on a Train - Farenheit 55


The live music scene around Surrey University is hardly something to sing about but the best of what does exist can be attributed to one person and the few others who help him out. Andy Panpipe Vale has done more for the quest to bring great music to Guildford than anyone else I've seen and the best of this is undoubtedly the night that he has run at the Farenheit 55 bar in town with the help of Byron Johnston and others.

I was still in my first year when I started to occasionally tag along with a group of people I was slowly becoming a part of to see the musical excellence that was being displayed in the bar. The group continued to go every week for the next two years, and as often as possible once money had been drained and work got harder in final year. It was a brilliant chance to see the most exciting and unique examples of live music. From incredible acoustic guitar players such as Declan Zapala, Byron himself or, my personal favourite Mark Aaron James, to beat boxing harmonica players and other things I didn't even know existed as well as great bands like Love. Stop. Repeat..

Mark Aaron James playing at Strangers on a Train. Photo provided by Gareth Barker, AKA Hot Fudge.

What separated Strangers on a Train from other music nights for me was how friendly nearly all the people who played there were. Over the years we got to know a lot of the musicians involved and MAJ even ended up playing an amazing gig in our house during a party. The night is an incredible testament to what can be achieved when people are dedicated to something and I would recommend anyone who can get to Guildford on a Wednesday night should check it out. Andy Vale will be moving on to other ventures after his last night on September 7th with the astounding Two Fingers of Firewater playing. After that, the night will definitely miss his input.

4.b. Conspiracy - The Boileroom

It feels like a break of etiquette to break up a point like this in my first Top 5 on the blog, but what Strangers on a Train offered in live music, the Conspiracy night managed to match in the fun of a club night. DJs Dan Manthorpe, Adam Burgess and especially Tree managed to create the most friendly and enjoyable environment I've ever seen in a club.

The music was always fun, varying from brilliant heavy stuff to hilarious covers and mash-ups with random theme tune and jazz bits dropped in near the end of the nights. Conspiracy was another place to meet great people and enjoy music. In a similar fashion to Strangers on a Train, head DJ Tree is leaving the night as he moves to London with his girlfriend to pursue awesome jobs so I won't be the only one missing the Conspiracy nights.

It was the final Conspiracy night where I celebrated my last night staying at the house, and it was a fitting end with so many of the people who made university for me being there. I know there will be great club nights in and around London, but I doubt any of them will be as enjoyable and relaxing as the Conspiracy nights over the last year.


As I'm new to this whole blogging thing I'm not really sure of the length one of these can be before people just stop reading. That's why I'm going to take a break here and finish the list of in the next blog that will be coming soon. Feel free to take guesses at what the Top 3 Things I'll Miss About Uni are. If you've known me over the past three years, and especially this year, they probably won't be hard to work out.